


Lost In The Books: Eternity Friends (VOL.1)

by MichaelTfromCanada



Series: Lost In The Books: Eternity Friends [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Teamwork, fairytales - Freeform, pig transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23971858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MichaelTfromCanada/pseuds/MichaelTfromCanada
Summary: Introducing a brand new ongoing series! Dedicated to exploring the true meaning of Friendship and Teamwork, focusing on pairing both the South Park characters with familiar Fairytale characters.In this first instalment: Heidi, Cartman, Marco and a reluctant Stan enter into the story of Three Little Pigs. The four friends then join forces with the Three Little Pigs themselves (Scott Malkinson, Clyde Donovan and Corey Lanskin) as they outwit the Big Bad PC Wolf (PC Principal).
Relationships: Eric Cartman/Heidi Turner, Eric Cartman/Heidi Turner/Original South Park Character(s), Eric Cartman/Heidi Turner/Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman/Heidi Turner/Stan Marsh/Original South Park Character(s)
Series: Lost In The Books: Eternity Friends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728274
Kudos: 1





	1. A Pig Wish

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic can also be read on DeviantArt

[A farm, day. The kids are on a field trip]

Mr. Garrison: ...’K kids, you heard Farmer Denkins, This is a big place so I want everyone to form a group and study on a farm animal.  
[The students look at each other and begin to form a group. Michael and Stan are having a hard time forming a group on their own]  
Stan: (sighs) I can’t believe it, dude.  
Michael: What?  
Stan: I was gonna be with Wendy.  
Michael: (referring to Wendy) Yeah, we were so close on studying chickens with her, man!  
Stan: So? She’s my girlfriend, dude! I mean, now what do we do?  
Heidi: (waves to Michael and Stan, while wearing a yellow Best Sister Forever shirt) Hey! Why don’t you two join us? Eric, Marco and I are about to study pigs.  
Cartman: (wearing a yellow Best Brother Forever shirt) Yeah, dude!  
Heidi: It’ll be fun!  
Michael: Well, we don’t have any choice.  
[Michael and a reluctant Stan end up joining a group with Heidi, Cartman and Marco]  
Cartman: Alright! Looks like you guys are hanging out with us for a while!  
Stan: Yeah. I guess.  
Michael: Stan, come on man! Drop that negative face and have fun.  
[Stan then hears a pig squeal. Heidi, Cartman, Marco, Michael and Stan then head over to the pig pen together]  
Stan: (approaching) Heidi, what’s all the excitement?  
Michael: (approaching) Because pigs are your favourite animal, right?  
Heidi: (approaching) [referring to Cartman and Marco] Yup! I love them so much and the best part is....They smell just like my best friends!  
Michael: Oh god, [covers his nose] Sick!  
Stan: [lifts his jacket over his nose] Jesus!  
[Heidi gets excited and then smells the odour of pigs]  
Stan: [while lifting his jacket over his nose] Why do they smell so fuckin’ bad?!!  
Heidi: Well now that you’ve mentioned it, they do!  
Michael: [still covers his nose] Yeah but, do they clean themselves or something?  
Heidi: Oh! Hehehe, they do live in a cool covered environment. But, I do find them really cute!  
Michael: Good grief, Heidi!  
Stan: Yeah, seriously?  
[Cartman then dope slaps Stan in the back]  
Cartman: Stan.  
Stan: What?  
Cartman: We’re studying pigs, it’s no big deal!  
Marco: Calm down and have fun with us.  
Stan: What are you guys talking about? They smell really fucking bad!  
Michael: So exac-(gasp) Wait a minute.  
Heidi: What is it, Michael?  
Michael: The enchanted book! Good thing, I got my backpack on with me! [Put his bag down, unzips and take his Enchanted book out] Guys, I know a story.

[Michael then opens the Enchanted book, going through the pages and then stops at the story of The Three Little Pigs]

Michael: This is the answer to our solution. The Three Little Pigs.  
Heidi: (amazed) I know that story!  
Michael: You do?  
Heidi: (amazed) Yeah! My mom read that story to me before!  
Marco: Hey yeah! My mom reads that to me too!!  
Cartman: Same here!  
Stan: (displeased) Oh, no...  
Cartman: Oh no, what?  
Stan: (displeased, referring to the story of The Three Little Pigs] We are NOT going into that story!  
Heidi: Would it be awesome if we’re pigs? [strokes her chin]  
Cartman: Yeahhh, that would be fuckin’ awesome! [strokes his chin]  
Marco: That would be sweet! [strokes his chin]  
Michael: You know what, I think Stan should go with you guys!  
Stan: (shocked) WHAT?!  
Cartman: Yes....  
Stan: OH, NO NO NO NO NO NO.....  
Heidi: It’ll be loads of fun!  
Stan: I’m not going and that’s that!  
Michael: (to Stan) Now, you’re gonna feel a lot different when you’re in the story. Except, you're gonna have to take your jacket off.  
Stan: (sighs) Do I have to take my jacket off, really?  
Michael: Yes Stan, you have to. [Stan then takes his jacket off and gives it to Michael] You have to blend in. [Stan sighs]  
Heidi: Ready to be pigs?  
Cartman/Marco: READY!  
Heidi: In librum! (Into the Book!)  
Stan: No what the fu-  
[The Enchanted Book lights up and the four friends all enter into the book]

[Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Stan all arrive in the story of the Three Little Pigs]

Stan: [opening his eyes]  
Cartman: Stan? Stan!  
Stan: [opening his eyes, still trying to regain consciousness] Wh...where are we?  
Heidi: Can you hear us?  
Marco: Are you ok?  
Stan: [regaining consciousness] You're not supposed to– Guys? Are we...pigs?  
Heidi: We sure are now. [snorts]  
Stan: Pigs? [sees his hands are hooves. He discovers in shock that he, Heidi, Cartman and Marco are now transformed into anthropomorphic pigs.] Oh my God! Have we all become pigs?! And...and look at us!  
Heidi: It feels incredible!  
Marco: And that’s what the magic is for!  
Cartman: Except we’re blending in within the story, dude.  
Stan: Blending in?!? Look at me! I can’t go back to the real world when I’m like this! Wendy will break up with...  
Heidi: Calm down, Stan. Nothing is going to happen to you.  
Marco: Yeah after all, we’re pigs!  
Cartman: Hey, mind if I call you “Piggley”? Get it? Piggley?  
[Cartman then snickers]  
Heidi: Good one, babe. (to Stan) Just blend in, Piggley. [then giggles to herself]  
Marco: Yeah, Piggley. [then giggles to himself]  
Stan: Stop calling me Piggley!

  
[Suddenly, a shadow of Scott Malkinson appears on the grass as they turn around. Except, he’s a fairytale counterpart in the form of a anthropomorphic pig]  
????: (with a lisp) You guys new here?  
[Stan is shocked to see Scott Malkinson as a pig]  
Stan: (gasp) Scott?  
????: (with a lisp) How do you know my name?  
Stan: You kinda look familiar, have we met before?  
????: (with a lisp) Nope!  
Heidi: Are you Scott Porkinson?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) That’s me!  
Cartman: Yeah dude, it’s nice to meet you. [snorts]  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) So, you guys can understand me?  
[Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Stan all nod]  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Great! You guys wanna meet my parents?  
Stan: Uh, if you’re offering us, then-  
Cartman: (excited) Oh god, I wanna meet your parents!  
Heidi: (excited) Yes please!  
Marco: (excited) I’m so excited right now I can pig out!  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Alright, then follow me!


	2. Pig Friends

[Porkinson Residence. His parents sit in their armchairs to watch TV. Scott has his own beanbag chair between them, but he's not home yet. His parents resemble their Real world counterparts, except they’re fatter.]

Scott Porkinson: [opens the front door and enters the house with Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Stan] (with a lisp) I’m home! [closes the door]  
Mrs. Porkinson: Welcome home, Scott!  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) You’re not gonna believe this!  
Mr. Porkinson: What is it, son? [snorts]  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) I have made some new friends!  
Mrs. Porkinson: Oh, I’m so proud of you, Scott!  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) This is Eric, Heidi, Marco and Stan. They’re from an outside world.  
Mrs. Porkinson: It’s nice to meet you, kids.  
Heidi: You too, Mrs. Porkinson.  
Stan: (sniffs) Is it just me or your family smells like pig odour in here?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Sure is!  
Stan: So, you guys just...pig out and be lazy?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Not me, but my parents do! You see, I also have my own best friends.  
Heidi: You have friends?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Of course! You guys would like them! Trust me, they’re super friendly and we’re on a mission to build our own house so we can avoid...You-Know-Who I’m talking about?  
Marco: The big bad wolf?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) That’s it. And believe me, you guys won’t like him!  
Cartman: That would be cool, but, we’re actually getting hungrier.  
Heidi: Me too.  
Marco: Same here.  
Stan: (flatly) Well I’m not.  
Cartman: Come on Piggley-  
Stan: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!  
Cartman: Dude, I was just joking.  
Stan: No, you weren’t!  
Heidi: Eric’s just having fun with you!  
Cartman: She has a point, but she's the funniest girl that I’m in love with!  
Heidi: Babe, stop it.  
Cartman: You are, babe. You really are.  
Stan: You know what, I’ll pig out with you guys, HAPPY?!?  
Cartman: Well, that’s how you blend in.

[Gilligan cut to Mrs. Porkinson, in the kitchen, serving food to Scott Porkinson, Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Stan]

Heidi: Wow, that’s a lot of food! Did you make all of this?  
Mrs. Porkinson: Oh yes, I did. I bet you little Piglets are pretty hungry right now! Dig in.  
Heidi: Well, what are you guys waiting for? Let’s pig out!  
Cartman/Marco/Scott Porkinson: YEAH!!!!  
[Scott, Heidi, Cartman and Marco then begin to pig out on food together that his mom made. Bits and pieces being to fly everywhere]  
Stan: (watching the mess) Jesus, dude!  
Cartman: (while pigging out on Food) Oh, you can’t help that, dude!  
Heidi: (while pigging out on Food) You should learn to eat like a pig!  
Marco: (while pigging out on Food) It’s really fun!  
Scott Porkinson: (while gorging on Food) (with a lisp) Trust us!  
Stan: Well... (sighs) Here goes nothing.  
[Stan then joins Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Scott as he pigs out with them. Moments later, The five including Stan are full from a Pig-out.]  
Heidi: Wow, that was super delicious!  
Cartman: Best pig-out of my life. [snorts]  
Stan: You know, Being a pig isn’t that bad after all.  
Heidi: Told you!  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) So, you guys ready to meet my friends?  
Stan: You bet!  
Heidi: Yup!  
Cartman: Totally yes!  
Marco: I would love to!  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) I knew you would say that! (to Mrs. Porkinson) Ok, we’re off, mom!  
Mrs. Porkinson: Be careful now, my little Piglets.  
Scott Porkinson/Heidi/Cartman/Marco/Stan: We will!

[Cut to the Woods. Heidi, Cartman, Marco, Stan and their porcine friend Scott are on their way to meet up with his best friends Clyde and Corey (who both resemble their respectively Real world counterparts), who are planning to build their respectively houses of different materials]

Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) [approaching] Hi guys!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) You’s late.  
Clyde Porcovan: Where have you been?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) I was spending time with my....new friends.  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) So that is why you wa-Who is they?  
[Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Stan waving hi to Clyde and Corey]  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) My friends? Oh! Guys, meet our new friends. This is Heidi, Eric, Marco and Stan.  
Clyde Porcovan: Nice to meet you.  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) So you’s must be new pigs on the block, I presume?  
Heidi: Yeah.  
Cartman: Uh-huh.  
Marco: Mhm.  
Stan: Yes. We told Scott that we’re from a Outside wo-  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) What are you four doing out here?  
Heidi: (confused) New construction workers?  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) Don't just you stand there, Get working on our houses immediately! Do you fucking hear me?!  
Heidi: (to Cartman) Looks like we’re taking orders from a talking London cockney pig.  
Cartman: (to Heidi) Yeah, tell me about-  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) I heard that.  
Stan: Look dude, we’re NOT construction workers!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) Huh, what’s that you say?  
Stan: The truth is: We’re on a field trip to the farm, and...  
Heidi: Come to think of it, we’re actually studying pig-  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) Just use your fucking brain! How do you build a house? [Heidi isn't sure] 'Ow do you build a house?!  
Heidi: [nervously] Uh, build a house from scratch?  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) Riiight. You draw a house and you build a fuckin’ house from scratch! Is that really bloody sim-  
Cartman: (referring to Heidi) LOOK, YOU DON’T HAVE TO THREATEN MY GIRLFRIEND!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) That’s why BECAUSE she wasn’t paying fuckin’ atten-  
Cartman: (standing up for Heidi) YOU NEED TO BACK OFF, DUDE! I LOVED HEIDI NO MATTER WHAT SHE IS! AND SHE’S REALLY SMART AND FUNNY!!!!  
Heidi: (blushes) Awww....  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) Are you threatening me?  
Cartman: Uh, no, I was..defending Heidi from....you.  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT, FAT BO-!!!  
Scott Porkinson: [stops them from arguing] (with a lisp) Hey hey, time out! We shouldn’t be fighting right now!  
Cartman/Corey Porkskin: What?!  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) We should all be teaming up and building houses together!  
Heidi: Scott is right. We all gotta build each house so we can avoid being eaten by that Big Bad Wolf guy.  
Clyde Porcovan: Wait, don’t tell me you guys are already pigs, right?  
Heidi: Yeah, we’re pigs.  
Clyde Porcovan: (referring to The Big Bad Wolf) He’s going to eat you guys.  
Cartman: What do you mean “He’s going to eat us”?!  
Marco: I don’t get it. Because we’re fat too?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Yes, think you guys better hide with us.  
Heidi: So, how do we hide with you guys?  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) JUST FUCKIN’ BUILD!  
Stan: Okay, okay, we’ll build with you guys!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) And that’s more like it!


	3. Here Comes the PC Wolf!

[Quick montage begins: Corey Porkskin, Heidi and Cartman built his house out of straws. Clyde Porcovan worked a little bit harder but Marco was somewhat lazy too as they built his house out of sticks together. And finally, Scott Porkinson and Stan both worked hard and built his house with bricks together. It was a sturdy house complete with a fine fireplace, a security alarm and a chimney. The seven pig friends finally succeeded in building their own houses to protect themselves and they exchange high hooves]

Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Well you guys, we did it!  
Cartman/Marco: Yeah!  
Stan: Dude, that was fast.  
Heidi: At least we helped you guys with your houses. (snorts)  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Now that’s what I call real teamwork!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) WAS THAT REALLY BLOODY HARD?!  
Marco: Maybe.  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) Don’t give me that fuckin’ answer, you lazy pi-  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) (referring to Marco) Tsk tsk tsk, you shouldn’t be rude to new friends like him.  
Marco: Don’t judge someone by their appearance.  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) You can’t tell me what the fuck to do! You’re not the boss of me!  
Clyde Porcovan: Enough ranting, Corey! We have to hide from-  
Michael: (narration) I’m really sorry to interrupt, you guys, but, there’s no time to waste.  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Who said that?  
Michael: (narration) I did, pig boy who looks like Scott Malkinson.  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Huh?  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) The fuck are you?  
Michael: (narration) I’m the narrator. And I’m actually talking to you guys right now!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) EY! I DON’T FUCKIN’ KNOW YOU!  
Cartman: Michael?  
Stan: You’re....you’re narrating our adventure?  
Michael: (narration) Yeah.  
Marco: So, what now?  
Michael: (narration) You guys did blend in, right? And you have to hide with them by avoiding that..wolf guy, you know, who exactly looks like-  
Cartman: Wait. PC Principal is in this one?  
Stan: Oh, dude weak.  
Michael: (narration) Think you guys better hi-  
David Rodriguez: (interrupting Michael’s narration) (voice) WHAT’RE YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?  
[Cut to the Real world. The farm, Michael is sitting under the tree while reading the Enchanted book, is interrupted by David Rodriguez]  
Michael: Huh? Huh? What? What?  
David Rodriguez: You mind telling me you’re avoiding studying on a farm animal?  
Michael: Nope, I was, uh, studying pigs with....my....friends, yeah that’s it!  
David Rodriguez: You’re lying! You’re always making excuses on daydreaming about your lame-ass fantasy adventures!  
[A short moment of pause]  
David Rodriguez: FINE! READ YOUR STUPID BOOK, I WON’T INTERRUPT YOU EVER AGAIN!!! [David turns around and walks off by giving him the middle finger]  
Michael: Phew!  
Stan: (voice) Dude, are we gonna continue or what?!  
Michael: Oh! Where was I?  
[Michael then continues to read the Enchanted book. Then cut back to Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Stan with their porcine friends within the story of The Three Little Pigs]  
Michael: (narration) Think you guys better hide.  
Stan: Dude, why?  
Cartman: (referring to The Big Bad Wolf) Chillax, Piggley! I’m sure he isn’t-  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) HE’S HERE!  
Stan: What do you mean “He’s here!”?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Don’t ask, Just hide!

[The seven pigs proceeded to hide in their own houses. Cue to introduction of the Big Bad PC Wolf]

Michael: (narration) Then suddenly....A burly wolf who is walking through the woods, with a badass attitude. With a goatee, sharp teeth, a bushy tail, a hint of a moustache, and Oakley sunglasses, but with a PC twist, his name...The Big Bad PC Wolf.  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (sniffs) Alright, do I smell micro aggressions in here?  
Michael: (narration) Said the Big Bad PC Wol-  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: Excuse me, who the fuck are you, bro?  
Michael: (narration) Why I’m the narrator, of course.  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: I don’t need you narrating about my fuckin’ introduction!  
Michael: (narration) Well, I’m sorry, Mr. PC-  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: WHAT?! ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME, BRO? IS THAT IT, YOU GOT INTRODUCTION FEVER?!?!  
Michael: (narration) Look, may I-  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: Oh fuck no, you’re not! You are NOT narrating this whole Fairytale bullshit!  
Michael: (narration) Oh yes, I am.  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: NO YOU’RE NOT! DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, BRO!  
Michael: (narration) May I do the FUCKING narration, please?  
[The Big Bad PC Wolf remains silent]  
The Big Bad Wolf: Alright, you win, Bro.  
Michael: (narration) Thank you and you’re welcome. And so, the PC Wolf proceeds to blow-I better not ruin the spoilers, because that would be a complete insult to the readers.

[Cut to Heidi, Cartman and Corey Porkskin who are inside the first house, made of straws]  
Cartman: Dude, is that-  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) Shhhh! (then whispers to Cartman and Heidi) Don’t let him see us! Whatever you do, DON’T make a sudden sound.  
Heidi/Cartman: [farts]  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) I TOLD YOU NOT TO-(covers his snout) GOOD GOD! (then waves away the smell)  
Heidi: Gosh, we sure do share the same fart, babe.  
Cartman: Yeah, did you see that look on this Brit-  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY ACCENT!  
[Heidi snickers]  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) OH, YOU THINK IT’S BLOODY FUNNY?!?!  
Heidi: Oh, nothing!  
Corey Porkskin: YOU DON’T FART WHEN WE’RE IN A SERIOUS EMERGENCY LIKE THIS!  
Cartman: Yeah, it happens to me. And even though, girls actually do-  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) SHUT UP!  
Michael: (narration) Then, the PC Wolf makes a siren sound while knocking on the door....  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (imitating a Siren sound) Woo-oowoo-oowoo-oo! Woo-oowoo-oowoo-oo!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) (whispering to Heidi and Cartman) Follow my lead and do exactly what I say.  
Cartman: Do we have to do this?  
Heidi: You know the last time, Eric, Marco and I first got sucked into-  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) (to Heidi) Just shut up and play along.  
Heidi: Alright, alright, We’ll play along.  
Michael: (narration) And so, Heidi, Eric and Corey Lan-  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) IT’S PORKSKIN!  
Michael: (narration) My bad, I meant, Corey Porkskin.  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) THAT’S MUCH BETTER.  
Michael: (narration) Heidi, Eric and Corey Porkskin all stayed quiet in the straw house, as the PC Wolf answered at the door and he said...  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (answering at the door) I know you three are in here, let me in, bro! Fear not. Ok! If you don’t let me in, then I'll huff and I'll puff and I’LL BLOW YOUR FUCKIN’ HOUSE RIGHT IN, BRO!!!!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) (gives a signal to Heidi and Cartman) Now!  
Heidi/Cartman/Corey Porkskin: Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (answering at the door) WHAT DID THE LITTLE PIG SAY?!!  
Heidi: I said...  
Heidi/Cartman: “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!”  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (answering at the door) OK, THAT’S IT! I’M BLOWIN’ THAT MOTHERFUCKIN’ HOUSE RIGHT DOWN!

Michael: (narration) And so, The Big Bad PC Wolf did the right thing: He blew the house right in...(referring to Heidi, Cartman and Corey Porkskin) But the poor little pigs ran away as fast on their shoes could carry them and went RIGHT to hide with Clyde and Marco in the second house.

The Big Bad PC Wolf: [the camera begins to focus on PC Wolf’s glare] So, you three think I’m fuckin’ tough? I’ll show them who’s...  
[The Big Bad PC Wolf suddenly gets a phone call from his wife and answers it]  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: Yeah, PC Wolf speaking.  
[Then cut to Strong Wolf (who resembles her Real world counterpart Strong Woman) in the kitchen of The Big Bad PC Wolf’s residence]  
Strong Wolf: What did I tell you not to go eating other animals?  
[Cut back to the woods: The Big Bad PC Wolf calling Strong Wolf]  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: Uh, no, I wasn’t going after...  
[Cut back to Strong Wolf in the kitchen]  
Strong Wolf: You were supposed to be spending time with your Cubs today.  
[Cut back to the woods: The Big Bad PC Wolf calling Strong Wolf]  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (referring to the PC Cubs) I didn’t have much time with them, Wolf! CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M FUCKIN’ BUSY RIGHT NOW!?!  
[Cut back to Strong Wolf in the kitchen]  
Strong Wolf: (pissed off) Enough! Come home now or... (PC Wolf then hangs up on Strong Wolf) Hello?

[Cut to Heidi, Cartman and Corey Porkskin who are hiding with Clyde Porcovan and Marco, inside the second house made of sticks]

Clyde Porcovan: You mind telling us what’s going on?  
Marco: What happened?  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent): Well, we’s were hiding in the straw house, trying to avoid being blown away by the PC Wolf, (points at Heidi and Cartman) until these TWO farted due to my fucking displeasure!  
Cartman: Yeahh that was a good one! Heidi and I had to release it so badly!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent): Oh really, that wasn’t uncalled fo-(Marco eating Gasberries) Are you eating Gasberries?!?  
Marco: (eating Gasberries) Mmm, they’re really yummy!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent): I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKIN’ EAT THEM! Those berries that you are eating, makes you fartsy!  
Marco: Oh yeah! Eric and Heidi tried a Gasberry and they enjoyed it!  
Heidi: Yeah, they’re super delicious!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent): NO NO, YOU SHOULDN’T BE EATING THEM!  
Heidi: You should try it, Corey! (snorts)  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) WELL I FUCKIN’ DON’T!!!  
Clyde Porcovan: Guys, I hate to interrupt, but, the PC Wolf is targeting the next house! (quietly) Everyone, don't make a single sound.  
[Marco then farts really loud and then Corey and Clyde then frown at him]  
Marco: What? I hogged down on a lot of food not too long ago.  
Clyde Porcovan: (covers his snout) Oh god!  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) [also covers his snout] ARE YOU FUCKIN’ SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?  
Marco: Well, I’m sorry I happen to be fartsy!

Michael: (narration) And so, the PC Wolf arrives at the second house, then he makes a siren sound, yet again, while knocking on the door!  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (imitating a Siren sound) Woo-oowoo-oowoo-oo! Woo-oowoo-oowoo-oo!  
Cartman: Dude, why is he making a Siren sound?  
Corey Porkskin: (with a London cockney accent) (to Heidi, Cartman and Marco) This is what happens if you three hogged down a lot of food and you three ended up farting in each ho-  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (answering at the door) I know you pigs are in here, come out and fuckin’ surrender, bro!  
Clyde Porcovan: (quietly to Heidi, Cartman and Marco) Just play along and follow my lead.  
Heidi/Cartman/Marco: Right!  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: Little pigs! Little pigs! Let the fuck me in! (a moment of silence)  
If you don’t let me in, then I'll huff and I'll puff and I’LL BLOW YOUR FUCKIN’ HOUSE RIGHT IN, BRO!!!!  
Clyde Porcovan: (gives a signal to Heidi, Cartman and Marco) Now!  
Heidi/Cartman/Marco/Corey Porkskin/Clyde Porcovan: Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (answering at the door) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THIS TIME?!!?  
Marco: I said...  
Heidi/Cartman/Marco: “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!”  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (answering at the door) YOU ASKED FOR IT, BRO!!!


	4. A Sudden Surprise / PC Wolf’s Last Straw

[Cut to the Real world. The farm, Michael is still sitting under the tree while reading the Enchanted book]

Michael: Wow this is pretty fucking crazy right here.  
[Suddenly, The cloaked man in the black walks up to Michael]  
????: You’ve done well, my dear apprentice.  
Michael: (gasps) [Cut to one of the flashbacks from “Lost In The Books: Friends Forever, which when Heidi tells his name to Michael]  
Michael: Tell me his name.  
Heidi: Zabus Avodore. You would like him, Michael! He’s wise, caring, eccentric, helpful and knowledgeable.  
Michael: (referring to Zabus Avodore) So that’s him. The same guy who created this book?  
Heidi: Of course!  
[Flashback ends. Cut to Present Day]  
Michael: Zabus? Is that...you?  
[The cloaked man nods and then removes his hood, showing his silver hair and beard. And it’s Zabus Avodore himself]  
Zabus Avodore: It’s been a long time.  
Michael: Zabus, I...I don’t understand. What are you doing here?  
Kyle: (approaching) Michael, what’s going on?  
Isla: (approaching) Who are you talking to?  
Theresa: (approaching, while holding hands with Kenny) What’s taking you so long?  
Wendy: (approaching) Why aren’t you studying pigs with your-  
[Kyle, Isla, Theresa, Kenny and Wendy all gasp in surprise]  
Kyle: Dude. Is that...  
Michael: Guys! Meet Zabus Avodore.  
[Kyle, Isla, Theresa, Kenny and Wendy all say hi to Zabus Avodore]  
Zabus Avodore: It’s a pleasure to meet you all. He told me everything about all of you.  
Kyle: (referring to Michael) How do you know about him?  
Zabus Avodore: I've been teaching him for a long time.  
Theresa: About what?  
Zabus Avodore: All sorts of magic.  
Theresa: Like entering into the book? Teleportation? Magic Circle?  
Zabus Avodore: Of course, All of it.  
Isla: So, did we all pass the test?  
Zabus Avodore: Yes. You all passed. You and your friends have learned about the true meaning of Teamwork and Friendship. But now, it’s your job to help the fairytale characters with situations by going into the book...Like pure magic.  
Michael: Wait a minute....[Cut to flashbacks of his first adventure with his friends from the events of “Lost In The Books”, when Michael first found the Enchanted book at the library] So it was you who made this Enchanted book of yours and it transported us right into a fairytale. (referring to Heidi, Cartman and Marco) And I ended up rescuing my best friends from getting fatter by a witch who actually looks like Freja Ollegard. [Flashback ends. Cut back to Present Day] This doesn’t make any sense.  
Zabus Avodore: It does make sense.  
Michael: (confused) Huh?  
Zabus Avodore: You’re all the chosen ones.  
Kyle: We’re the what?  
Zabus Avodore: The chosen ones. The ones who played along in a respective fairy tale. (referring to Michael) The book that your friend is reading, is the answer to pure friendship that turns into an unbreakable connection.  
Kyle: So, that’s why we’re friends with him.  
Isla: Oh...I get it.  
Theresa: What does that mean?  
Michael: It means our friendship will be powerful and stronger than before.  
Zabus Avodore: Yes that is right.  
[Cut to one of the flashbacks from “Lost In The Books: Friends Forever” when Michael received the Enchanted Book from Cartman, takes a look at the cover and sees a image of him and his friends (Heidi, Cartman, Marco, Stan, Wendy, Kyle, Isla, Kenny and Theresa)]  
Michael: I know that face. (gasps) That’s us!  
Cartman: See? You really are the hero, dude!  
[Flashback ends. Cut back to Present Day]  
Zabus Avodore: I’m proud of you, my dear apprentice. No matter what you and your friends try, [points to Michael’s chest] I will always be with you. If you do need me, just call my name.  
Michael: Thank you, tea-Zabus? [Michael and his friends are shocked to see Zabus Avodore disappear without a trace] He’s gone!  
Isla: Wow...  
Kyle: He really disappeared...  
Wendy: Like magic.  
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah.  
Theresa: I think you better finish the story.  
Michael: Yeah...you’re right. I’ll catch up with you, guys.  
Kyle: We’ll distract the others.  
Michael: Thank you.  
[Michael then smiles at his friends as they leave]

Michael: (to himself) Ok, where I was I? [then continues to narrate Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Stan’s adventure in the story of The Three Little Pigs] The Big Bad PC Wolf did the right thing as he does before: He blew the house right in...(referring to Heidi, Cartman, Marco, Clyde Porcovan and Corey Porkskin) But the poor little pigs ran away as fast on their shoes could carry them and, this time, they went RIGHT to hide with Scott and Stan in the final house.

[Cut to Heidi, Cartman, Marco, Corey Porkskin and Clyde Porcovan who are now hiding with Scott Porkinson and Stan, inside the final house made of bricks]

Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) What’s all with the ruckus?  
Stan: Dude, what happened?  
Cartman: It was really crazy!  
Heidi: We were hiding with Marco and Clyde  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) I’m listening....  
Clyde Porcovan: (referring to Marco) And then, this one farted really loud! That was uncalled for!  
Stan: Wwow.  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Good thing our brick house is fully secured!  
Heidi: Fully secured?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Yes, 100% secured. [then arms the system on]  
Marco: You think that PC Wolf will find us?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Nonsense! As long as the house is secured, we all will be safe and sound.  
Michael: (narration) And so, the PC Wolf arrives at the final house, then he makes a siren sound, yet again, while, you know the rest of it!  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (imitating a Siren sound) Woo-oowoo-oowoo-oo! Woo-oowoo-oowoo-oo!  
Cartman: Oh fuck, he found us!  
Heidi: Eric, I’m scared. (then holds Cartman’s hoof)  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Whatever we do, don’t let him in!  
Heidi/Cartman/Marco/Stan/Corey Porkskin/Clyde Porcovan: RIGHT!  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (answering at the door) I know you pigs are in here, this is your LAST FUCKIN’ WARNING, BRO! COME OUT, RIGHT NOW!  
Scott Porkinson: (gives a signal to Heidi, Cartman, Marco, Stan, Clyde Porcovan and Corey Porkskin) (with a lisp) Now!  
Scott Porkinson/Heidi/Cartman/Marco/Stan/Corey Porkskin/Clyde Porcovan: Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: WHAT?!?  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) You heard us!  
Stan: I said...  
Stan/Heidi/Cartman/Marco: “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!”  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: (answering at the door) THAT DOES IT!  
[The Big Bad PC Wolf then kicks the door in and the alarm goes off]  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) YOU FOUND US!  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: That’s fuckin’ right, I did! And you little fucklets aren’t going anywhere!  
Michael: (narration) As the PC Wolf is about to eat them, when suddenly....  
Strong Wolf: (voice) (angry) PETER CHARLES WOLF!  
[The Big Bad PC Wolf then turn around and he’s being surrendered by his wife Strong Wolf, who is an angry pissed off mood]  
Strong Wolf: YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR ENOUGH, PC!  
The Big Bad PC Wolf: I can explain this, Strong!  
Strong Wolf: Don’t you “explain this” me! You have a lot of explanation to do!  
[Strong Wolf then grabs The Big Bad PC Wolf by the ear as she drags him away]

Clyde Porcovan: (referring to Strong Wolf) Well...I never wanna say this: What a bitchy wife she is!  
Heidi: Yeah, I’m glad it’s all over.  
Stan: You know, I’ve learned something today: At first I wasn’t displeased with my pig self, and now I’m getting the hang of it by blending in within the story. It’s all part of animal transformation.  
Cartman: Glad you’re accepting it, Stan.  
Marco: We would love to play with you guys...  
Heidi: But, we better get back to the Real World.  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) Well, you’re one of us now! Come back soon, ok?  
Heidi: I promise!  
Cartman: Me too!  
Marco: Same here!  
Stan: Yeah.  
Michael: (voice) GUYS, COME ON!  
Heidi: Well. This is our cue.  
Cartman: Be seeing ya!  
Marco: Tchau! (Goodbye)  
Stan: Later, dude.  
Heidi: Exitus.  
[Scott Porkinson, Corey Porkskin and Clyde Porcovan all wave goodbye to Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Stan as the four friends exited the story of the Three Little Pigs]

[Cut back to the Farm, day. Stan, Heidi, Cartman and Marco (in their normal weight) returned to the Real world, as humans]

Michael: There you are! (gives his brown jacket back to Stan)  
Stan: Dude, that was an awesome adventure!  
Cartman: I’d say!  
Heidi: It feels wonderful to be pigs!  
Marco: Yeah, me too!  
Michael: We can discuss this on the bus! So come on!  
[Heidi, Cartman, Marco and Stan all nod and agree with Michael as they leave the farm for South Park Elementary. Heidi then stops and begins to have a flashback from her adventure with her friends in the story of The Three Little Pigs]  
Scott Porkinson: (with a lisp) [Flashback] Well, you’re one of us now! Come back soon, ok?  
Heidi: [Flashback] I promise!  
[Flashback ends. Cut back to Present Day]  
Stan: Heidi, you coming?  
Heidi: Oh, right. Coming!

(END)


End file.
